Football season is in full swing, and the friendly budtenders at Gold Bar Marijuana are all pulling for the Seahawks.
But since the dawn of Fantasy Football, the weekly games have taken on a new significance, because even when your team—we hope it’s the Hawks—isn’t playing, there’s opportunity for victory and defeat. So in the interest of customer satisfaction, we’ve put together this handy cheat sheet on best practices.
Of course, even if you can’t stand watching football, your friends at the last stop pot shop will be here for you. Need to pick up some cannabis product before you head out back to escape the game noise? We’ve got you covered. Because we’re here for everyone—far and wide. We’re your Index pot shop, your Sultan weed store, and the only place to hit before you hit the trails outside Gold Bar. Now for our Fantasy Football tips:
Do: Smoke Your Friend Out Before Trades
As they say, the best defense is a good offense, and when it comes to making trades, your offense should be Phat Panda’s Gorilla Glue #4. This legendary couch-locker is the perfect what to ensure your football buddy is in a generous mood when it comes to helping you with your lineup.
Don’t: Trade While You’re High
Seriously? Have you ever smoked Phat Panda’s Gorilla Glue #4? If your buddy is loading the bowl with this heavy indica before trades, he might be up to something. To keep an even keel, go for something sativa, like Agent Orange by Badass Grass. You’ll thank us when you don’t wind up with four kickers.
Do: Check Your Line Up
Yup, it’s sweet to wake up on game day, pack a bowel of Heavenly Bud’s Alaskan Thunder Fuck, and sink right in to the Sunday football. But it’s not cool when you realize you missed the deadline, and the entirety of your lineup is on the injuries list. So make sure to keep your head in the game during the week.
Don’t: Decide on a Super Embarrassing Punishment for Losers
Last season might have been a spectacular performance for you. You might feel unbeatable. But seriously, try to remember that you could easily be on the losing side of the field sometime, so don’t make bets that involve total humiliation, like shaving your head, or wearing an Affliction t-shirt. This is supposed to be fun!